Church Magazine Humour: Merry Christmas

Here is some genuin humour based on typing mistakes by Typists of Church magazines. Wheter any are from the Sleaford area is unknown. Happy New Year as well.


The following have all appeared in church magazines so let us thank God for church ladies with typewriters!

- Next weekend's Fasting & Prayer Conference in Whitby includes all meals.
- Sunday morning sermon: 'Jesus Walks on the Water' Sunday evening sermon: 'Searching for Jesus.'
- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
- Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
- Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation .
- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice
- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
- Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and be prepared to sin.
- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
- The school drama group will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church hall on Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!'

Snow 18 December 2009

It is very cold today and walking on the pavements very tricky. I walked into Town and the pavements wers like glass. Watch out for stray snowballs.

These photos were taken at about 1500hrs.

Update on Hockmeyer's robbery!

From the press reports it would seem that those committing the offence have been caught.
That is how I read it .

Garage raid cause major fuel spill!

Lincoln Road Blocked 14 December

It has just come up as the lead story in the Sleaford Standard. The frightening thing is the damage that could have been done if it had got into the Rivers or ignited!!


Update 15 Dec: still awaiting reports in local papers - we will see if it is in tomorrows paper (Wednesday) . BBC Report still on web but this was done soon after the incident. Look North had it on their 6.30pm show. The Road wasn't opened until 0830 today!

The Lincoln Road from the new mini-Roundabout to the end of of Stokes Drive has been closed for several hours (morning of 14th December). It appears that oil on the road, due to an incident at Hockmeyers Garage, may be the reason. I will keep this blog posted if I get any more useful information.

Woodside

So what will a review mean?

I notice that there is an agenda item this Wednesday at the Town Council meeting (not open to the public) to talk about potential for better utilisation of our open spaces. Woodside is mentioned although the Agenda says (Woodbridge) but I have checked and it is Woodside.

I shall attend. There is a shotage of suitably placed open areas on that side of the Lincoln Road: which will be exaserbated by the developments near the Farm Bridge, over the A17, and the (as yet) open space which was the Bowls Club. So a proper plan is needed with adequate facilities.

I will keep this Blog informed!!