Church Magazine Humour: Merry Christmas

Here is some genuin humour based on typing mistakes by Typists of Church magazines. Wheter any are from the Sleaford area is unknown. Happy New Year as well.


The following have all appeared in church magazines so let us thank God for church ladies with typewriters!

- Next weekend's Fasting & Prayer Conference in Whitby includes all meals.
- Sunday morning sermon: 'Jesus Walks on the Water' Sunday evening sermon: 'Searching for Jesus.'
- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
- Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
- Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation .
- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice
- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
- Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and be prepared to sin.
- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
- The school drama group will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church hall on Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!'

Snow 18 December 2009

It is very cold today and walking on the pavements very tricky. I walked into Town and the pavements wers like glass. Watch out for stray snowballs.

These photos were taken at about 1500hrs.

Update on Hockmeyer's robbery!

From the press reports it would seem that those committing the offence have been caught.
That is how I read it .

Garage raid cause major fuel spill!

Lincoln Road Blocked 14 December

It has just come up as the lead story in the Sleaford Standard. The frightening thing is the damage that could have been done if it had got into the Rivers or ignited!!


Update 15 Dec: still awaiting reports in local papers - we will see if it is in tomorrows paper (Wednesday) . BBC Report still on web but this was done soon after the incident. Look North had it on their 6.30pm show. The Road wasn't opened until 0830 today!

The Lincoln Road from the new mini-Roundabout to the end of of Stokes Drive has been closed for several hours (morning of 14th December). It appears that oil on the road, due to an incident at Hockmeyers Garage, may be the reason. I will keep this blog posted if I get any more useful information.

Woodside

So what will a review mean?

I notice that there is an agenda item this Wednesday at the Town Council meeting (not open to the public) to talk about potential for better utilisation of our open spaces. Woodside is mentioned although the Agenda says (Woodbridge) but I have checked and it is Woodside.

I shall attend. There is a shotage of suitably placed open areas on that side of the Lincoln Road: which will be exaserbated by the developments near the Farm Bridge, over the A17, and the (as yet) open space which was the Bowls Club. So a proper plan is needed with adequate facilities.

I will keep this Blog informed!!

Preserving our open spaces for who?

The ongoing saga of the decision to put floodlighted Tennis Courts and pavilion on the Boston Road Rec - by the Tennis Club - has raised concerns about other public open spaces. As indicated this was agreed in May 2009 for the lease of space for 4 tennis courts.

This may have implications for the rest of of Sleaford!

We have one or two in the Holdingham area. Whether or not Tennis is a specific case requirement when courts are available at the Northgate Sports complex is also an issue. Added to this is the plan for a road on the other side of Boston Road linked to the South-east regeneration plan and Tesco development.

I am beginning to feel sorry for the Boston Road Rec and local people there - so we need to be vigilant.

Farm Bridge Cycle Lane Photographs

I took these photographs today (4 November 2009).

It is all a bit messy at the moment with the Housing Development.

At least the end of Holdingham Lane alongside the B1518 will have a means to allow cyclists to go down Holdingham Lane.

The Farm Bridge (see first and third photos) appears inaccessible at present due to work being carried out.

Map of Cycle Track Sleaford Town to Leasingham

I am pleased that the cycle route map over the Farm Bridge has now been published. It is at this site:

Leasinghm to Sleaford

The specific PDF map is at Cycle Track

Cheers

Old Bowls Club

I was pleased to see that the request for outline planning permission for housing - on the land off Peterborough Way - has been rejected.

It needs watching however as we have had false dawns before. I will get moe information from Councillor Peter Haysum and others.

Crime Maps

Postnote: The link now appears to be working after heavy use on its first day: Holgingham Crime


I am trying to find out more about these maps that were highlighted in the Radio and TV News today. I do not know yet how deailed they will be for each area for each area: however there are several sites already that can easily identify whether or not a particular area is prone to crime.

Crime Maps

I will get back when I can get the links to work on the site above. I suspect the site is being oversused at the moment.

Van Gogh Jokes

I get some pretty poor jokes some times. Here is one of many I have just received from an old friend: if you like this then good luck with the Tablets.

Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh

Here are Vince's relatives, in no specific order:

His dizzy aunt ---------------------------------------- Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes--------------------------- Gotta Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia --------------------- U Gogh
His Magician Uncle -----------------------------------Where-diddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin ----------- ----------------------- A Mee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half-brother ---- Gring Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach --------- ------ Wells-far Gogh
The constipated uncle -------------------------------- Can't Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt --------------------------- Tang Gogh
The bird lover uncle --------------------------------- Flamin Gogh
The fruit-loving cousin ------------------------------ Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking --------------- - Way-to-Gogh
The little bouncy nephew ---------------------------- Poe Gogh
A sister who loved disco ------------------------------ Go Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in an RV -- - Winnie Bay Gogh
I saw you smiling . . . there ya Gogh!

Old Bowls Club: adjacent to the Jolly Scotchman

I am a bit concerned that a new planning application has been submitted for outline planning permission to build on the old Bowling Club site. This is the third time to my knowledge.

This land is designated open space and also access would mean problems to the new hiouses on Peterborough Way. I have spoken with Councillor Peter Haysum who is taking it up with the NKDC planning department.

With the prospect of Sleaford expanding massively - the pressure on our open spaces for public use will increase.

Bus Shelter Near MacDonalds Lincoln Road?

I took this photo today of the new Bus Stop opposite MacDonalds - near the Holdingham Roundabout. The bus stop is on the right corner under the trees!

I will ask the Town Council, at the next Servioces Committee, for a Bus Shelter there! I am not aware at present of any other bus stops being proposed on the other side of the road!

Do we need a new Bus Shelter?

I took the first photogrpaph on the Lincoln Road, Holdingham just before the old "Bus Shelter" was removed prior to staring work of the new mini-roundabout.

Now the Bus Stop is the other side of the road - but no shelter. The secong photograph is the view in the early stages of the pavement building near where the new bust stop is situated. I will get a new photo shortly: obviouskly the need will increase as the new houses are occupied.

Cycle Paths to the Farm Bridge Holdingham

I went (21 Aug) to see how the pathways to the Farm bridge are getting on. Things seem to be progressing and the metal fencing was being erected today to fence off the area where the new houses will be built. I took the photo from near the exit of the new site near Holdingham Lane. Traffic can now get to the Houses along Holdingham Lane via this new road.

You can see where the pavement has been lowered (indented) to allow Cyclists to get to the Farm Bridge.

Entrance to Hockmeyers on the Lincoln Road

The pavement along the edge of Hockmeyers Garage is now complete (as of 11 August) although the top layer seems missing on one section! The refuge is also a help near the new Roundabout.

It seems like an improvement - but I have seen a few cars trying to get across the double white lines. and thus causing a tailback around the roundabout itself! The double white lines start from midway across the entrance opposite the Jolly Scotchman: it is at this point where traffic should enter the Garage!

By the way to all drivers - the Lincoln Road is 30mph - I saw at least one car doing 50mph and accelerating down towards York Road this afternoon.

New Pavement: alongside Hockmeyers

A new pavement is being laid alongside Hockmeyers Garage. Date 28 July - I suppose it will be finished in a few days.

Roundabout Finished: still some way to go!

I took a couple of shots today of the new Roundabout which is now complete.

However there are still complaints about pavement access along the side of the road where Hockmeyers Garage is!

The reason is that the pavement isn't continuous which makes it difficult for those with Wheelchairs. Ok so you can go through the Garage forecourt but this isn't really safe and the area is oily!

Roundabout Work Now Finished

I went down to Hockmeyers Garage this afternoon, for a newspaper, and noticed that the traffic queus had disappeared. Two hourse earlier the queue was back to St Dennis.

On checking: the Traffic Lights had been removed and the workmen told me that the new Roundabout was now complete. There is still some pavement work to finish, especially at the end of Holdingham Lane (Hockmeyers side of the road).

Also cars cannot get down Holdingham Lane (east) due to the new pavement. All entrance to the houses down there is via the new Estate road relating to the 97 Houses being built.

Local Petrol Prices

Update Autumn 2016: the latest AA figures nationally suggests Sleaford (it seems ) is at the top of the range.

AA Report 2016:


Previous Blog

We are not doing very well in Holdingham - or Sleaford for that matter - when it comes to Petrol prices. Tesco in Sleaford seems to be the cheapest and just below the national (AA) averages.

These average prices are:
Petrol
103.7 p/litre
Diesel
105.4 p/litre

as of 26 June 2009!

Blockage at end of Holdingham Lane

This article appeared in the local newpaper as a result of the work being done at the end of Holdingham Lane. Thison the first day the flow changed as mentioned in the previous blog.

The photos taken on 19th June show the changes at the end of Holdingham lane and these changes were the issue in the article in the local newspaper. The other one is the bu stop across from MacDonalds.

You would think the contractors would have thought about this one and kept residents on side!!

Residents Complain

Holdingham: Lincoln Road Mini-Roundabout

Completion Expectation

It is 12th June. The new (depending on the weather) completion date is in a just over a couple of weeks time i.e. end of June 2009. On the photo the traffic flow will go round where the workmen are standing!

On Tuesday 16th June the one-way flow around the roundabout will change and traffic will be one-way on the west side rather than the east-side at present.

New Roundabout: Lincoln Road 30 May 2009

I took these photos today. The development is looking better and (notwithstanding the effect of the fine weather) I am still warming to it.

All we need is some traffic calming measures along the Lincoln Road to stop speeding in the 30 mph area. The finishing of the roundabout complex still looks a few weeks away though!

New Mini Completion?

Looks like the end of June!

I spoke with foreman today (19 May) who said the completion date is expected to be the end of June 2009. The size of the roundabout, which I think is a good thing as it will take traffic away from residents on Holdingham Lane west, is as much to do with the large tree in the middle. I am pleased it has been saved.

However delays to continue for another 6 weeks is the bottom line.

New Roundabout! Latest Update: May 15th

Expect delays for maybe another 2 months.

I went to have a look at progress on the mini-roundabout today (Friday 15 May) at going home time around 5.30pm. There were long tailbacks on the Lincoln Road back to Galley Hill: added to that the tailback at the other end went onto the main Holdingham Roundabout.

Some drivers were going through the traffic lights when still red.

The Anglian Water engineer was there (everyone else had gone home) and he reckoned it might be another 2 months or so before it is finished.

Having said that I am somewhat impressed by what I see so far!

Holdingham and Lincoln Road Sleaford: mini-roundabout development

Latest pics on May 6th 2009.

(On May 7th Holdingham Roundabout congestion was mentioned on the evening Radio Lincolnshire news caused by the works on the Lincoln Road). I will get some pics.

The pathway on the first photo extends all the way around and as can be seen in the second photo the traffic down the Lincoln Road will go around the forefront roundabout.

Obviously a slightly more complicated route to get to MacDonalds from Town - if arriving up the Lincoln Road side.

Traffic disruption on the Lincoln Road has been minimal so far. It will probably be more severely interrupted in the next few weeks.

FARM BRIDGE OVER THE A17

I went to the photo shoot on the Farm Bridge on Monday morning at 9.00am. The Lincs FM were also there and did a few interviews including me. I said what a great benefit it will be.

As usual it was just starting to rain but enough turned up to give a good press shoot.. The photo has appeared in both local paper (the Target and the Standard). It was front page stuff in the Standard and on the inside pages in the Target.

By the way: this is a recent photo there is now much development all around so it is isn't all that easy to access the bridge at the moment!

So I hope things move apace as it is very busy on the A17 and trying to get across to the Leasingham side, and vice versa, is a definiite death trap. The completion i supposed to be in less than a year which just about coincides with the new Housing development.

I have a feling thatt his will only be a start. I will keep everyone posted.

The photo on the front page is here (Click)

Another Update

It is April 22nd and they are still digging near the end of Holdingham Lane and Hockmeyers Garage.

The workers reckon the roundabout part will probably start next week. So traffic disruptions possible in a few days time.

Lincoln Road New Development Street Names

I understand that new street names have been put forward for the new development near the Holdingham Roundabout.

Here are the proposals which seem to be almost a done deal.

• Croft Close
• Home Close
• Furlong Way

Perhaps with the vicinity of McDonalds names like Big Mac Way or Chicken Nugget Terrace ought to have been considered. Only joking - really!

New Mini-Roundabout: Section 278 go-ahead

Latest: County Highways have confirmed on 6th April that the mini-Roundbout work can now go ahead. The traffic lights have reappeared on the 8th April.

Queus are forming back down the Lincoln Road towards the Co-op nad up to the main Holdingham Roundabout.

Previous Message:
The message on the 6th April simply says: Section 278 @ Holdingham, Sleaford

I can now confirm that the developer has permission to commence works.


Lincolnshire County Council - SK & Sleaford Division.


Let us hope there are not too many traffic tail backs and holdups.

278 Agreement Lincoln Road New Roundabout

I have received a message today from Highways. They are happy for me to pass it on.

In summary it says:

Section 278 Agreement.
At the moment there isn't a start date to inform you of as there is a legal complication holding up the agreement.

This is now in the hands of our Legal department and Land Registry. The agreement has been signed by the developer and currently held at the legal department. Once the land transfer document is received by Lincolnshire County Council the agreement will be sealed and the developer can commence work. Therefore the work is imminent but there isn't a confirmed start date as yet.

Latest on Lincoln Road

Work seems to have stopped for the time being. I spoke to one of the workmen who informed me they are awaiting a "278" document. This authorises them to start the mini-roundabout.

I have written to Highways but no reply as yet. I bet it starts over the Eastter break.

Whether or not the June 2nd deadline is met is another matter. As yet I don't see many (or any) signs leading up to the work area when coming out of Sleaford. There is a sign on the Holdingham Roundabout warning drivers. who are entering Sleaford.

Where is the Farm Bridge?

I took these photgraphs today as work progressed on the Lincoln Road: and the preparation for the 97 dwellings continued through the laying down of the road links on the new Estate.

The Farm Bridge project looks as though it will have to stay on hold until this work is finished: the reason being that it is impossible to get to it by bicycle, or by foot, at the moment. I presume it could take a year - maybe longer.

See photograph above taken on March 6th. This is the view from Holdingham Lane.

Lincoln Road: New Roundabout

I received a message, through my letterbox on February 26th, informing me that work starts on the new Roundabout (B1518) on 2 March and is expected to be completed in early June.

I presume other residents in Holdingham have received the same message.

The messsage also includes the following information:

"The works also include for the installation of a new pumping main along the B1517 from its junction with Holdingham Lane to Stokes Avenue.

For the duration of the works single lane traffic will be in operation under temporary signal control. Whilst every endeavour will be used to minimise disruption, some delays will inevitably occur during this major project."

Expect delays!

Roundabout and Housing Near Holdingham Lane

I went round today (Feb 19th) to see the progress being made at the new Housing Development.

The road links, on the new development, are being put in place. As imprtant is the progress with teh oproposed new Roundabout between MacDonalds and Holdingham Lane. The roundabout, after teething problems are sorted, should be finished within 3 to 6 months (that is how I understood it). Then the work on the Houses can begin: some of which may be ready for occuopation by the end of 2009. I have no problems with the idea of a roundabout which may reduce the speed of traffic down the Lincoln Road. If Tesco move house then perhaps the volume of traffic overall - notwithstanding that generated by the new Houses - may actually decrease.

Here's hoping. We will see!

Snow: N(Ice) to look at!

The snow over the last two or three days certainly provided a nice scene when I woke up on Monday morning. It had been predicted: the chaos on the roads was only to be expected, I suppose, despite the forecast warnings.

What wasn't so nice was the effort in trying to walk into Sleaford past the Co-op and over Galley Hill Bridge. The Bridge particularly was dangerously icy on both Monday and Tuesday: leg breakingly so.

Keep an eye on the forecasts. Apparently there is more to come possibly as early as this Friday (6th Feb). I have a web site for St Georges College which highlights Sleaford Weather.

Tesco Plans

The proposed move of Tesco to the Avanta Seeds old site will have good and bad effects on Holdingham. First the good: hoopefully less traffic on the Lincoln Road and maybe less litter.

The negativer is reduced shopping opportunities for Holdingham. However the site will, I understand remain retail as seperate units - but without food retail. In other words I think the plan is for Tesco to let the units for specific purposes.

Outline planning permission has been given for this but the big issue is still the proposed super Tesco on Southgate (near the Station) and linked to the new road through the Boston Road REC.

Oh, and by the way, there are plans to close the Level Crossing at the Station if a bridge is built near the Maltings. I don't remember this being proposed when it went to a Town vote in 2005.