When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language changed to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."

He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
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"He had delusions of adequacy."

Walter Kerr
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"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Winston Churchill

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"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

Clarence Darrow
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"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
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"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas
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"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

- Mark Twain
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"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.."

Oscar Wilde
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"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
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"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second .... if there is one."

Winston Churchill's response
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"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

Stephen Bishop
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"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

John Bright
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"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.."

Irvin S. Cobb
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"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."

Samuel Johnson
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"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

Paul Keating
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"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."

Charles, Count Talleyrand
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"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."

Forrest Tucker
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"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

Mark Twain
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"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

Mae West
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"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.."

Oscar Wilde
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"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts ... for support rather than illumination."

Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
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"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

Billy Wilder
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"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

Groucho Marx